Three Time Loser

Thankful

I know this is typical, but the thing I am most thankful for is the people in my life.  My family and friends are my world.  There are so many reasons; here are a few:

• I have an unparalleled support system
• I have many people that would do just about anything for me.
• I can be ungrateful and still be loved.
• I know that there is always someone there when I need them.
• I have people that can always make me laugh.
• I can be a slob without too much feedback.
• I can get a hug anytime I need one.
• I never have to be alone if I don't want to be alone.
• My mood swings are tolerated.
• I always have a couple of ears willing to listen to me bitch.
• There is always someone that allows me to buy their kids cute clothes.
• I know that I am loved.

To each of you:  My life is better because you are in it.  Every person in my life has a purpose to be here: to be my son, sister, brother, niece, nephew, cousin or friend.  I am proud to be your mom, sister, aunt, cousin and friend.  I would not trade the relationships that I have with any one of you for anything. Because of all of you, I am a better person than I was before I knew you.  You have taught me how to love, how to  have  patience, how to be respectful, how to smile, how to be tolerant, how to be giving and so much more.  You teach by example: I take from you how to be a better person.  I only hope that I have given back just an iota of the gifts that you've so generously given.  I love every one of you with my heart and soul.  Thank you for being in my life.

Oops! I Did It Again

It has been brought to my attention that I've included several duplicates on my list.  I perused the document and was unable to detect my errors.  I then cut and pasted the list, put it into Excel and sorted it alphabetically, A-Z.  It was then, that, I recognized   "Caddyshack," and, "Patch Adams," appeared twice.

I apologize for this blatant inaccuracy and vow to amend the list as soon as time permits.  I will also update it to include the omitted entries.

My apologies.

Concentration

I don't normally watch much television.  I have a few shows that I Tivo and other than the occasional, "Everybody Loves Raymond," during dinner, I rarely watch live TV.

With these new channels I have, I've become a real couch potato in the last week.  The real problem is that I HATE commercials.  I must have at least two things to watch so I can avoid commercials.  Now I'm having to flip through four different things because I MUST watch Discovery Health and Bravo at all times. 

Clearly, I have issues.

I'm thinking I need to add a new category.

Remembering

I just want to take a moment to remember all of those precious souls that have lost their lives on and since 9/11/2001.  Well over 6,000 lives lost with unknown more; when will it end?  My prayers are with the families that are left to deal with the grief and anger of the reality they must face.
 
My special thoughts are with the family of Joshua Justice Henry, as the anniversary of his death nears.  He died nearly 3 years ago on my birthday.  He was a friend to both of my boys and we know their family well.  His funeral was one of the saddest and most touching things I've ever witnessed.

I would be surprised to find someone who has not been personally affected by the 9/11 events or this "war on terror."

It's all of the innocent lives and young people that tear at my heart strings the most.  And I'm talking about both sides of the line.  Guys like Josh that are brave enough to give their lives for our country, regardless of what the fight is for.  Life is precious, no matter what your belief.  I pray for an end soon.

Please visit these links as a memorial to all of those who have passed on.  Our guardian angels.

Joshua Henry
Fallen Heroes
The Iraqi Page
Jasmine Henry Recounts

Don't stop

As I'm watching the finale of American Idol, I just had to stop and let all y'all know that I heart Chris Daughtry.  And, if I was a beautiful as he is, I would totally shave my head.   

Wishful beginnings

From my quit meter:

Eleven months, four weeks, 2 minutes and 1 second.
7260 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,452.01.
Life saved: 3 weeks, 4 days, 5 hours, 0 minutes.

I have begged friends and relatives for a stray here and there.  A couple times when I was drinking I wanted one or three.  But I consider myself a non-smoker.  I guess I am proud of that but I'm not really happy about it.  I miss smoking. 

I still find it hard to feel satisfied after a meal.  I want an ending.  I sometimes have to consciously force myself to stop eating.  Smoking allowed me to stop eating.  I never ate and smoked as I've seen some people do.  It was easy, as a smoker, to end a meal by having a cigarette.  Now?  Not so much. 

PS. I don't really get the 11 months and 4 weeks thing.  May 18th is my one year anniversary.  And the $1452 I've saved by not smoking?  I've spent it on food and Gas-X.  Nicotine relieves the symptoms of irritable bowel syndrome.  Who knew?

Big Mistake

I have just spent the last 3 hours watching last week's Survivor and the two- hour finale.  Unfortunately for me, since the actual "vote" and "revelation of said vote" came on the "Live Survivor vote and relevation of said vote" show  or whatever the fuck it was called and not the run of the mill "Survivor" show, my TIVO recorded the regularly scheduled "Grey's Anatomy" that airs every Sunday night at 10:00pm instead of "Survior" because, well, you know, the show wasn't called "Survivor."

So here I am at 11:37pm having to do an internet seach to find out who won Survivor: Panama. 

I am almost mad at Grey's Anatomy for this.

Aras better have fucking won.

Wrong way

Until the first winter of my married life, at age 25, I was thin.  At least that is how other people saw me.  And in reality, my weight indicated a healthy body weight.  I considered my belly to be fat or my waist, thick....however you want to put it.  (I never really remember my stomach being flat.)  Boobs larger than average. Never had much of a butt (read: shapeless) and have always had skinny legs.  I remember when I was pregnant my ex likened my body shape to that of the Grinch's. Great for the ego.  Thanks man.

Anyhow, the first winter I was married I gained 20 pounds.  This sucked big time because I had been a particular weight for  nearly 10 years and now I was growing out of literally everything.  I don't really remember it bothering me too, too much.  Maybe because I was so happy being married.  It was several months after that when I became pregnant.  I was rather anxious to wear maternity clothes that summer.  Probably since I didn't have any normal clothes that fit me anyway!

Ok, so it's 9 months later, I gained 25 pounds with baby, lost 32 pounds within the first month after delivery and all is good, I'm up 13 pounds overall.  Not bad.  Get on the Pill after several months, gain back the extra 7 that I had lost.  Back up 20 pounds. 

2 years later, almost the same.  Gain 22 with TuSon, lose 29 within 2 weeks. I feel awesome.  Go on the Pill, gain 7. Again, up 20.

At this point I am about 130 pounds.  I am 5'3" and this sounds like a reasonable weight.  But the extra 20 pounds is between my chin and my pubic bone.  Thick middle, chubby arms, fat back.  Ugh.  I look back at pictures and I dressed horribly for my body type.  Why didn't someone tell me how I looked??  Ew. 

Fast forward 8 years.  Split from husband.  Lose 20 pounds.  Yippeee!  Now I'm a back to a size 5 and sometimes a girls 14 because of my chicken legs.  I'm newly separated/divorced and I'm nearing 40.  Not bad, not bad.  I land me a wonderful younger man and promptly begin to eat. The 20 pounds reappear over the course of the next 5 years or so.  I am more than happy to share the poundage with him.  He, who overcame childhood obesity and lost 90 pounds in college.  We contribute to each others emotional  dependence on food and we gain weight together.

Fast forward 10 years and here we are still eating. 

There is a definite point to this post. Stay tuned for part two tomorrow.  That is if I can stop eating long enought to post again.

All fall down

This post is to let you know that I am alive and well (at least better than I was yesterday) and will be posting again soon.  Maybe tonight.  If I feel like it.  I promise to catch up on my reading in the next day or two also. To tide you over, click for original size:

We all fall in love sometimes

I want to wish all of my new and special friends a very Happy Valentine's Day.  You each mean so much to me and I thank you for being here.  You're the best.

My Schmoopy got me the best and most perfect card in the world.  As you may know, we just moved in together after 10 years of weekend dating.  If you can't read it clearly, click on it for the original size.  I am the luckiest girl in the world.