Three Time Loser

She's Got Issues

For about a week after SO leaves on a trip, I can't seem to stuff enough food into my piehole.  I realize that it is a comfort thing where I'm trying to compensate for his absence by attempting to overdose sate myself by eating. I eat cheese and lunchmeat sandwiches, which I love, but rarely allow myself bread.  I'll buy brownies or drive through Wendy's which I never do when he's home. And for the ultimate in emotional eating: Last night I got home from class at about 9:00.  I wanted something to eat so I made cream cheese dip.  Between last night and noon today.  I ate the whole bowl.  THE WHOLE BOWL.  The cream cheese was low fat, but the mayo wasn't.  We're talking well over 1000 calories not counting the pretzels.

Clearly, I need help.

Watch yourself

Had one of those new Reese's caramel cups over the weekend.  Nowhere near as good as the peanut butter. 

On the inside wrapper it says, "Candy is a treat. Please consume in moderation."

Since when did Hershey's become  my dietary conscience?

OR

It's about time the candy industry takes some responsiblity for the ever-growing problem of obesity in this country.

I'm thinking the former.
 

Down

So here it is, Friday and I, of course, as usual, wanted to get my post done early today.  Instead, I've been lying around all day doing absolutely nothing.  Feel like crap and just want to sleep.  Bah.

It's raining here again today and I know that is contributing to my general feeling of gloom and doom.  I should be ecstatic knowing that, in about 30 hours that SO will be home with me, safe and sound.  I'm just not feeling it.  There are a couple of reasons why, I think.

I am having some health issues.  Nothing I want to share with y'all at this moment, but something that is bothering the hell out of me for sure.  Not bothersome as in pain or itching, but the idea of what it could be is a bit disconcerting.  I am seeing a doctor on Monday, picked fresh from Google so wish me luck.  I just love me a new doctor.  Bah.

I am also having thoughts about going back to school for something.  The thing is, I have absolutely NO confidence in my ability to learn and retain anything. I have such a horrible memory lately and I seriously doubt that I could be trained for anything.  Hell, I question my competence at the job I'm currently (un)employed in.  Bah.

I am sucking at this weight-loss thing right now.  I think I'm starting into my bi-annual depression and I'm an emotional eater, so you do the math.  I have decided though, that to counteract my binges I must exercise.  Get motivated to exercise while depressed?  Hell, I can't get motivated when I'm not depressed.  Bah.

The good news?  I haven't gained any weight in the last week.  That's about all the good news I can muster. 

So how YOU doin'?

For crying out loud

It is 10:45pm.  I have just browsed my e-mail.  Prior to that, I watched about 15 minutes of the Olympics.  Previous to that, I spoke to the SO for about 10 minutes.  Just before he called, I ate a plateful of sauerkraut with a bit of pork and a bit more of turkey kielbasi.  Now I want to go to bed and I feel like a big fat pig. 

I worked from 1-9 and didn't get a break to eat.  At least not when I was ready to eat.  I had a sensible lunch before I left and took soup for my dinner.  Never got to eat it so I came home very hungry.  Even though my dinner was healthy, eating it at 9:30 is not the best thing for my diet or my stomach.  I can hear the stomach acids battling each other as we speak.

Also, I have another freaking cold.  Complete with cough, swollen glands and chills.  This is the second one this winter.  AS A NON-SMOKER.  I never got sick whilst I was a smoker.  This bites.

SO has been sick in China too.  He had a fever while at work and asked for a driver to take him back to his hotel yesterday morning.  They drove him to the hospital!  They checked him out there; vital signs and such.  His temperature was 38.83C.  Yeah, doesn't mean much to me either.  But I figured out it converts to about 102F.  Yeah!  Wowie.  But they gave him the Western version of Tylenol  and some tea (?).  Now he's having some digestive issues.  Poor thing.  I hope he gets better.  Wouldn't want him to have to cut his trip short or anything.............

What is cool though is that the hotel personnel have been treating him like a patient.  Sent him a bowl of fruit, checking on him.  Chinese hospitality is certainly world class, at least where the SO is staying.

Ok then, until I have something cool to blog about, this is all you're getting.  I could complain about work, but that's not worth the little energy that I have, so I'll spare y'all that.  Consider yourselves lucky.

Peace out.

PS.  If any of y'all do not watch Grey's Anatomy, you are missing the best television has to offer.  Just so you know.

Carry the weight

I have been eating non-stop for 36 hours.  Bad things like Fritos.  I was sick last night because I ate so much.  Someone stop me.  Please. 

I would like to give Udge credit, for Udge is who I stole this from, a truly amazing video.  You must see this.  No, the man has not cured cancer or performed open-heart surgery, and yet has performed one of the most amazing things I have ever seen.  I cannot comprehend how this is done.  I don't believe I could ever be taught to do this. Take the whole 4 minutes and watch it.  You will be glad you did.

The bitch is back

Ok then. I'm over my bitterness from last week while withdrawing from carbs.  Who would think that white bread could do that to you?  Anyway. There's a holiday coming up that, in reality, is all about the food.  Can you say whole wheat stuffing?

Running on empty--Day 4 of the new WOE.

(That's South Beach for "way of eating")

Bullshit.  This is a fucking diet.  I will never eat this way unless I'm trying to lose weight.  I want carbs.  Big carbs with little carbs hanging off of them. I'm fucking DREAMING of cheating on this diet.  Can you believe it?  Dreaming about deep-fried breaded things.  I also dreamed about witnessing some S&M. Not too weird considering dieting is masochism in the truest sense.

To it's credit, this diet does leave you feeling full.  At least for a moment after you leave the table.  And the snacks.  Enough with the snacks!  I don't really have time to eat 6 times a day.  But it's required.  I'm afraid not to eat the snacks.  I can see it now.  "Oh yes, that diet didn't work for me.  I didn't snack enough."  Good lord.

Very bad girl that I am, I have not done one lick of exercise.  Unless you call circling the  furniture store six times 'exercise.'  I'm hoping it warms up a little so I can take a walk.  It's not too too cold but I have issues with anything less than 60 degrees.  Yeah, I have a condition so shut it.  Anyway.  I'm gonna pop in a Billy Blanks CD any day now.  I know those exercise bands are around here somewhere.

Running on empty

I have started the South Beach diet way of eating.  Or at least my version of it.  I want to lose 30 pounds by next summer.  Wish me luck. And willpower.